Bruce
04-28-2003, 01:47 AM
What they say when you leave the room . . .
Here is a sample conversation between two discus encountering each other as they drift aimlessly about their 55 gallon tank:
1st DISCUS (IN A SHRILL, WHINING COCKNEY ACCENT): Oh, hello, Mr. Hi-Fin German Blue.
2nd DISCUS (IN A PROFOUND, BASSO GERMAN VOICE): Hello, Mrs. Wild-Caught Heckel.
1st DISCUS: Hot, isn’t it?
2nd DISCUS: Yes, it’s very hot in here. It’s always hot in here.
1st DISCUS: That’s because they always keep the bloody thermostat set at bloody 86 degrees.
2nd DISCUS: Yes, it’s like a bathtub.
1st DISCUS: It was never this hot in the Amazon.
2nd DISCUS: I bet the food was better, too.
1st DISCUS: You can bloody well say that again. Nice insect larvae – fresh, not frozen. And none of this bloody beefheart, either. And, oh – you should have seen the Macrobranchium shrimp!
2nd DISCUS: I bet you knew just how to eat those!
1st DISCUS (LAUGHING): You’re bloody well right about that! Nip, nip – bite their eyes out. Swoosh! Flip ‘em over! Chomp – disembowel ‘em.
2nd DISCUS: Not like these frozen brine shrimp, eh?
1st DISCUS: You can bloody well say that again.
2nd DISCUS: Have you noticed a change in the pH lately?
1st DISCUS: Oh, yes – I was just saying to Mrs. Alenquer Red, feels bloody neutral in here! The
bloody peat moss needs to be changed again.
2nd DISCUS: I think the reverse osmosis unit is broken, as well.
1st DISCUS: Yes, I thought the water tasted a bit hard. Still, that’s to be expected around here. We haven’t even had a bloody water change in three days!
2nd DISCUS: And the tank decor – very plain.
1st DISCUS: Plain? It’s horrendous! Bare walls, bare floor–nothing but a bloody sponge filter and a hatching cone! What do they think this is – a bloody bordello?
2nd DISCUS: Well, nice talking to you, Mrs. Wild-Caught Heckel.
1st DISCUS: Same to you, Mr. Hi-Fin German Blue.
Remember, this sort of conversation is repeated ad nauseam in discus aquaria around the world, day after day after day. All too often, the existence of a discus is boring, monotonous, repetitive. Nothing to do but swim, eat, and spawn. Swim, eat, spawn. No wonder they complain.
One thing we can do for our fish is to improve their tank decoration. Can you think of anything more boring than a bare fishtank? Discus have refined sensibilities and are known to be fond of tasteful decor. In fact, nothing brings on an attack of Hexamita faster than the stress produced by poorly coordinated tank decorations. It’s especially important to avoid clashes between bubbling and non-bubbling accessories. For example, the culture shock imposed by placing a bubbling astro-dog toy too close to a ceramic mini-pagoda can cause severe respiratory distress and possibly swim bladder disorders. These fish are very sensitive and care must be taken to avoid hurting their feelings.
Above taken from "Companion Fish for Discus"
by Dr. Steven J. Schiff
I thought it was funny. Let me know if this sort of thing is inappropriate on this board, or if I'm the only one who hasn't seen this yet.
http://www.jsas.freeservers.com/articles/Discus_comp.html
Here is a sample conversation between two discus encountering each other as they drift aimlessly about their 55 gallon tank:
1st DISCUS (IN A SHRILL, WHINING COCKNEY ACCENT): Oh, hello, Mr. Hi-Fin German Blue.
2nd DISCUS (IN A PROFOUND, BASSO GERMAN VOICE): Hello, Mrs. Wild-Caught Heckel.
1st DISCUS: Hot, isn’t it?
2nd DISCUS: Yes, it’s very hot in here. It’s always hot in here.
1st DISCUS: That’s because they always keep the bloody thermostat set at bloody 86 degrees.
2nd DISCUS: Yes, it’s like a bathtub.
1st DISCUS: It was never this hot in the Amazon.
2nd DISCUS: I bet the food was better, too.
1st DISCUS: You can bloody well say that again. Nice insect larvae – fresh, not frozen. And none of this bloody beefheart, either. And, oh – you should have seen the Macrobranchium shrimp!
2nd DISCUS: I bet you knew just how to eat those!
1st DISCUS (LAUGHING): You’re bloody well right about that! Nip, nip – bite their eyes out. Swoosh! Flip ‘em over! Chomp – disembowel ‘em.
2nd DISCUS: Not like these frozen brine shrimp, eh?
1st DISCUS: You can bloody well say that again.
2nd DISCUS: Have you noticed a change in the pH lately?
1st DISCUS: Oh, yes – I was just saying to Mrs. Alenquer Red, feels bloody neutral in here! The
bloody peat moss needs to be changed again.
2nd DISCUS: I think the reverse osmosis unit is broken, as well.
1st DISCUS: Yes, I thought the water tasted a bit hard. Still, that’s to be expected around here. We haven’t even had a bloody water change in three days!
2nd DISCUS: And the tank decor – very plain.
1st DISCUS: Plain? It’s horrendous! Bare walls, bare floor–nothing but a bloody sponge filter and a hatching cone! What do they think this is – a bloody bordello?
2nd DISCUS: Well, nice talking to you, Mrs. Wild-Caught Heckel.
1st DISCUS: Same to you, Mr. Hi-Fin German Blue.
Remember, this sort of conversation is repeated ad nauseam in discus aquaria around the world, day after day after day. All too often, the existence of a discus is boring, monotonous, repetitive. Nothing to do but swim, eat, and spawn. Swim, eat, spawn. No wonder they complain.
One thing we can do for our fish is to improve their tank decoration. Can you think of anything more boring than a bare fishtank? Discus have refined sensibilities and are known to be fond of tasteful decor. In fact, nothing brings on an attack of Hexamita faster than the stress produced by poorly coordinated tank decorations. It’s especially important to avoid clashes between bubbling and non-bubbling accessories. For example, the culture shock imposed by placing a bubbling astro-dog toy too close to a ceramic mini-pagoda can cause severe respiratory distress and possibly swim bladder disorders. These fish are very sensitive and care must be taken to avoid hurting their feelings.
Above taken from "Companion Fish for Discus"
by Dr. Steven J. Schiff
I thought it was funny. Let me know if this sort of thing is inappropriate on this board, or if I'm the only one who hasn't seen this yet.
http://www.jsas.freeservers.com/articles/Discus_comp.html